early in the morning korkor woke me up.
telling me dad called to ask me bring mama
go to this block which is QUITE near to our area
to see the chinese doctor.
after seeing doctor, went home..
was super tired, den i straight away napped.
at 11 we were suppose to reach hospital
for some counselling thingy.
but we 11 still at home!
slept till 11.10 lo me... ^^"
papa also slept.
den gan jiong gan jiong jiu went out.
saw joefina at the opp. bus stop while waiting for a cab.
didn't know at first until she called me when i got onto the cab.
yepp and we reached there quite fast.
i didn't know it was this counselling thingy at first.
dad didn't tell me. thought it was just another
checkup or taking of report.
but anyway, doesn't make any difference.
all is bad de bahhh..
this counselling basically is talking to us about mom's condition.
and dialysis info.
in this session, all were serious ba..
100% functionality, now left 8%.
can u imagine the seriousness?
feel quite lucky that mom
dun really understand the conversation ba.
however, dialysis is a confirmed thing.
things gonna get tougher.
ya, quite difficult to accept the fact.
but have to.
now korkor still dunno anything..
i dunno how to tell him.
should i be the one? or leave it for papa?
i dun have the courage to say such
serious things to korkor.
i'm so afraid i will suddenly just breakdown
in front of him which i've nv done so.
hope dad can find time to talk to him himself baa..
and hopefully mom will be feeling ok
for this period of time first.
else even torturing things will come.
anyway, after gg to hospital.
went back to school.
met up with him.
there were quite a few times i was just staring into the space.
guess that was when i feel lost,
wad i meant was... dunno wad to feel.
happy or sad?
not possible happy i know.
but neither i want to be sad in front of him.
whatever it is...
just got to accept changes, face the fact, be strong until...
the next day.
tmr will be another brand new day.
and hopefully, i can feel better too.

to sing, is to let ur emotions out.
to say, i don't really know how to say.
to hide, it's upsetting.
while to cry, it's not allowed.