unconditional love.
what is the definition for it?
so far, i know only parents can give this kind of love..
and i am learning to give it back to them.

today was really a tiring day.
the peritoneal dialysis course started at 9+.
but me & dad reached there at 8.
i slept on the sofa for around 10 mins
b4 a nurse came to ask us go into the training room.
the learning process is very slow...
but there are MANY steps to remember.
lunch break is from 12-2.
so after having our lunch, we went to visit mom.
she's swelling at her face, hands, legs and stomach.
stomach area still got RED cracking lines..
very..... i feel "painful" when i see her.
but what can i do?
i can only help her massage here and there.
i heard from a nurse mom is gg to stay at the hosp.
for quite a long time..
probably a month.
cuz of the "breathing tube" at her neck.
some can go home earlier, but with the breathing tube.
it's becuz some may have to live with the breathing tube
for lifelong.
if that's the case, i bet more problems will surface.
cuz this breathing tube is attached onto my mom
due to the doctor's mistake.
sighh.. i just cannot understand,
why initially a small operation.. turn out to be such
a big matter.
mom today keep saying want to go home,
but i can't do anything..
only can keep telling her,
when she's all well, then can go home..
i wish for my mom to be home again soon.
i hate the hospital.
i really hate it.
only the caring nurses there are good.

is there a medicine for heartache?
cuz my heartache is getting worse...
i just need a med. to numb/forget everything.
who can really understand the pain..
home sweet home.