TELL ME....
what will you do when u see ur parents are indirectly killing themselves.
seeing them treat life like NTH.
life is precious, but why is it not to them?
i really had done whatever i could...
everyday.... almost everyday, i'm home.
helping mom everyday after work.
if i want to go out, i really have to plan (in advance)
dad cannot be home early because he goes to drink everyday after work.
he claims that one of his eye cannot see anymore.
but he's not gg to seek for any medical treatment.
when we go to supermarket, his bank account ran out of money
then he pays cash.
but why does he have the money to DRINK!?
he is spending money to drink his life away...
what if he falls too?
who will take care of this family?
I, alone, take care of both of them??
already feeling so drained out by taking care of my mom,
where can i find more energy?
u know what... everyday, and i really mean every single day..
i tell my mom.. don't drink this don't drink that. don't eat this, don't eat that.
but she nv seems to listen. she claims that the weather is hot.
she is thirsty.. but why can't the plain water quench the thirst
and make her cool down?
in one day, how many different kind of drinks do u take?
my mom can drink AT LEAST 2 different kind of drinks everyday.
everyday i talk about eating healthily..
even during weekends, when i'm with her..
i cannot stop her from eating what she wants to eat.
tonight fried kway tiao, the next morning she wants fried beehoon.
just ytd morning she had fried mee, afternoon she wants fried hor fun.
morning she drinks teh-o, go home she drinks chrysanthemum
relatives always tell me, sick people are like this..
old people tend to behave like a kid, they cannot think anymore.
but even a kid will listen to their parents, isn't it?
doctor said mom can take durian cuz got potassium.
can take banana cuz got potassium also.
but does it mean she can eat it every week?
durian got cholesterol, banana is too sweet and is bad for kidney.
ytd dad bought bananas, today he bought durian.
there are still a lot of bananas left
but today there are boxes of durians.
my mom is starting to itch all over again.
one of the sign of kidney failure.
she's already receiving dialysis, but why does she still itch?
the answer is so obvious.
u may think, why i don't cook in order to let her eat healthily.
do u think she will eat? (yes or no?)
STUBBORN is their strongest character.
you know... i can't be strong always.
to be truthful, i can't even take good care of myself.
and i have to learn. no.. i have to take care of them.
life is full of ups and downs. (yes, i agree)
but when will the downs get over........

i seriously don't know what i can do...
everyday keep myself in the room?
just now i cried in front of my mom...
(but i doubt she feels anything neither she will make any changes)
i'm so afraid history will repeat..
that i have to go to the hospital every single dayy...
staying overnight at the hospital..
i really wished i can just disappear from this world (not die).
just disappear...
i can give up everything to exchange a peaceful life (with no sadness).

who can put an end to all these nonsense?......
:'(
:'(
:'(